Freewriting Liberation

When you shed toxic cycles and mental shackles, you truly find peace in the midst of chaos. When you know who you are to your very core, you are unwavering in your conviction. When you are accused of being too real for this world, that is when you are the most correct. If you play into the pandering of politics, you have already lost and I am tired of watching all of us lose. When they try to burn you as a witch, it means you’ve gotten too close to the fire they seek and have walked away unscathed…somehow…again. When you spin metaphor literal and the literal metaphor and don’t see the trick, you are easily divided and conquered…when you fight to prove something to anyone but yourself, you’ve lost. A life of integrity speaks for itself. If gossip sways an opinion, that person was always already gone. When you weaponize your own gossip against yourself, you take control of the situation. Remember, every lie told and gossip spread…means no one is safe in those circles, but why do we hold shame over the shared human condition? We aren’t robots, so stop competing with them. Have you checked in on your own skeletons lately? I dance with mine in the dark. I make peace with my demons and we find ways to heal.

The only judgment you fear is your own judgment against yourself. I thank those who had no response and left me in a state of fight or flight while trying to keep my big girl boots on after being repeatedly sexually harassed at a convenience store while trying to figure out some ways to help my people and my town. Did you really think I’d somehow drown this time? Cute.

I was able to contact my most core ride or die homies everyone else disconnected me from while bleeding me dry and my family is better and stronger than ever…and now that I can articulate myself again, I can also take this where it was always intended to go.

However, I will never run in those same circles again. I know my worth and when it is being exploited. Sorry, but no, I’m not. So, to those who thought they knew me…rofl…I’m just making my introduction. You thought you knew a thing, but go ahead and ask me anything. I don’t bullshit and I make every effort to keep my promises, even to my enemies. First promise to myself was I’d always do…”better…than…that…I guess” and I watched y’all do that wild shit you all did and left my wild on display, always living aloud and never silenced. I’ve never led an army nor have I wanted to, only myself with the expectations others should do the same, and I live to tell all the tales.

I can tell you some tales of ancestral glory and ancestral questions…some history…some philosophy…plenty of varied theology…

I’ll be honest, humility never looked that cute on me, I just forgot who I was in a cycle of self-sacrifice and self-martyrdom. I’ve lived like a Saint and I’ve lived like a Sinner and I choose the line between both, but never settling for mediocrity. Time to make those bold moves. Witches, religious men, and wise scientists, professors, and activists taught me well and I will never forget those lessons…but I had to go off on my own and figure shit out for myself. Life experience taught me what everyone else missed in their books…reality and a lack of an ivory tower of comfort, no matter how cushy things looked from time to time. I thank those that helped us survive, but a systems approach will never look that cute on me either.

I have given all the chances and fucks about opinions I was willing to give. I am going to reconnect with those who have grown and changed and stepped into their own power, those who are willing to be vulnerable and bold, brave and wise…those willing to teach from the heart or at least want to see good things in this world. So, it’s a call to action I hope to have fancy graphics and a website for, but there is only one me and I have to keep to what I am strongest at…so…if anyone wants to contribute anything toward the greater good and true freedom, I’m here. I think it’s time to Make Being Human Great Again. Just sayin.

To those who didn’t show up who either figured out the point or just left me on my “crazy ass,” thank you the most. To those who missed all of it, oh that’s fine too…catch up will happen. I just had to listen to music and process the 44-years of complex post-traumatic stress. I finally know what recovery actually looks like for me. In the meanwhile, I suggest you brush up on your cognitive neuroscience with Bessel van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps The Score and keep going before you challenge my science, kthxbai.

If you would like just a little insight into my roots…perhaps…you should probably meet my people…I’m just getting to know us and intend to honor my ancestors and the dead.

The Filidh @ Wikipedia

Fight me in the court of ideas and take it up with Carl Jung & epigenetics. I’ll be there with Jingle Bells on to call bullshit.

#PeacefulPraxisOverTheory #CallToAction #MakeThatYuletideBrightAgain #WhatWouldJesusDo?